i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
