I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize