I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize