i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
there is glitter all over my balls
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