remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
