jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we're making bets on your personal life
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
