Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
