It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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