what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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