Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
