Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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