how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
