Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
