Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You are a genius and a whore.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize