My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
