Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
