no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
