I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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