It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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