It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Randomize
