Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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