you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Randomize
