farters have to be the big spoon...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
