He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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