i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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