The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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