I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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