For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
