Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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