I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
NoShamevember. You game?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Randomize
