3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
