it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she woke up with a sticky ear
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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