ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
