I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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