guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
