somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
