i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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