How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
