I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
