Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
