He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
