she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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