Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
