Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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