Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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