Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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