Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
