Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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