Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
