He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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