I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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