No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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