This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
