Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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