No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
