Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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