Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Boobs are out for the taking
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
